so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
