I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
