Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
