so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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