Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
