Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have fence marks all over my body
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
