Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize