i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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