I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
