This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
