Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
