Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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