and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
