the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
