Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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