Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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