bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
