Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
