Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
