I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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