you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
