i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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