how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
