I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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