you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
True college students do jello shots in the library
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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