Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
