Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
