He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
