Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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