Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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