Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize