end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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