Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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