he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
