she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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