Say something about gay babies.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
