I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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