Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
