is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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