I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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