yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it's like iHOP with fire
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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