Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You are a genius and a whore.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize