I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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