I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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