I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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