I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
