If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
