this boner is exhausting
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
