dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm just crazy horny about you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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