i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
