everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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