You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
