is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
