Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
