He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
