I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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